As I shared in my post two days ago, I’m in the process of transferring over my past blog posts to this one, and if you have the time, I just posted a new post about adoption and grief but have included here some additional thoughts to read about adoption that I wrote in January 2019. It’s kind of funny to me to read what I wrote almost 6 years ago, when SO MUCH has changed. I would be so honored to hear your feedback and thoughts on any that I have shared here, remembering that God equips us to our calling. If God is calling you to foster or adopt, I would be happy to discuss our experience and be your cheerleader as you answer this call.
“For he chose us in him before the creation of the world… “
It hurts when you are forgotten, not included, or not chosen. It sucks!
Most of us have had at least one time in our life when we were NOT chosen. You didn’t get picked for someone’s team. Someone broke up with you. You didn’t get the college you wanted. You didn’t get the job. A friend didn’t invite you to their girls night out.
What is it about NOT being chosen that hurts so much? For me, I’ve experienced every single one of the above examples. I survived, moved on and yet, at times I have let it fester. I have good friends who I know love me, and I have 1100 friends on facebook, and it was still hurtful to get left out by ONE person.
You wonder, “What did I do wrong?” Or, “Why didn’t they think of including me?” Or even more unhealthy, “What do I need to change so they will like me?”
I have such a tender heart for the feelings in this that I have adjusted my “choosing” procedures in my classroom. I want my students to be aware of the hurts in the world and mindful of how their actions can unknowingly leave someone out. I don’t want them to learn that “everyone wins” because that is a lie. But we are going to be intentional in my classroom that sometimes you get left out, how do you handle that, learn from it, and make a decision to INCLUDE someone that is not “in”. It’s not a true science and feelings still get hurt, but we inevitably have opportunities to talk through it. Every. single. week.
It is easy to forget that we have already been chosen. I have this cute little sign in my kitchen by the fruit bowl because I have had a heart for adoption for most of my life. We adopted our daughter as a teenager in 2010 and THIS message is really for her, and all of us. This sign is a daily reminder that as easy as it is to choose some healthy fruit each day, we can choose to ACCEPT that we have been chosen already by the Creator of the Universe! We’ve already been thought of this morning and included. It’s true. He has already decided He wants to be your friend FOREVER and all you have to do is accept. Just say yes. That’s it.
You don’t have to lose weight, clean up your mouth, buy new clothes, stop drinking, get a bigger house, have cuter and more successful kids, or even go to church. God really doesn’t care about any of your “stuff”, or your past, or your checklist. He just wants YOU to come to Him, flaws and all.
He says you are “holy and blameless in his sight.” He also says “In love he predestined us for adoption to sonship/(daughtership) through Jesus Christ, in accordance with his pleasure and will— to the praise of his glorious grace.”
What does that even mean? Basically, He actually loves to claim you as His own from the pumpkin patch, dirt and all, wash you off, clean you out, and display a light in you for all to see. That’s His favorite. YOU are His favorite. But WE have a choice too. We get to CHOOSE back.
Oh, but there’s that Jesus part you say? Yep. He’s in there because He is an equal part of it. He came for you. He lived a blameless life for you. He died for you. And He’s coming back for you. No other “religion” can say that because everyone else wants you to DO something, or BE something. Even many Christian churches put “requirements” on you but they have it WRONG. That’s not the Gospel. Don’t listen to all that mumbo jumbo. Listen to the TRUTH. Love God, say yes to the gift that Jesus gave you, and that’s it.
Read the Bible for yourself. The WHOLE thing, not just the parts you like. Read the whole thing and see God’s big picture. Ask Him to reveal Himself to you if you don’t see it. He promises that He is faithful so ask Him to SHOW you. God is carrying out His end of the bargain, even with flawed people. He created the world so that YOU would be a part of HIStory. Yes, you will create your own story and God will do something with your mess if you will let Him and if you give Him the credit for being there WITH you through it. He also says, “In him we have redemption through his blood, the forgiveness of sins, in accordance with the riches of God’s grace that he lavished on us.”
His Grace is a gift. It is free. We are ALL chosen, and it’s up to us to accept it. He wants to lavish us with His love and redemption. He wants us to KNOW that we are KNOWN by Him and He has GOOD gifts to give.
Remember on the hard days when the world forgets to include you that you have been chosen by someone with infinitely more power in His pinky toe than any boss, or sorority, or friend group would have in their entire lives.
Celebrate on the good days when they do choose you that God’s adoption into His family is even more sweet. Thank Him for giving you community, blessings, and opportunities. Those are His gifts. Yes, I know it still hurts sometimes. Give that hurt to God and let Him fill in the cracks with love. Trust me, from personal experience that He is bigger than the “I’m lonely and have no friends” lie. He has the power to mend it. just take it one step at a time.
My scriptures today are from Ephesians 1:4-8. Read it for yourself here Ephesians 1:4-8
Shelley Harrington 