HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!! Or is it???
In traditional fashion, the new year has arrived with fireworks and fanfare, toasts and celebration. And more than any other week of the year it is the promise of a fresh start that prompts goal setting and resolutions, organizing, and quitting of bad habits taking place all over the globe. Perhaps we rang in the new year with smaller crowds, a change of plans, or celebrating alone but the new year is here whether we are ready to face it or not.
Around the world, we have seen our fair share of trauma, loss, fear, anxiety, stress, frustration, conflict, anger, disappointment, and plain old survival. And aren’t we all just TIRED of talking about it??? Don’t you love how people keep pointing that out, like we need the reminder we are in this common, perpetual state of dealing with hard things? I don’t know about you but I look back at the crazy year we had in 2020 at the onset of the pandemic, with it’s political and racial unrest here in America and I was never more thankful for a NEW year and a fresh start when January 1st, 2021 arrived. Of course, I think we all thought things would get better within a few months, or at least by the fall, and couldn’t imagine we would still be wearing masks and fighting with people over vaccine mandates and Covid protocols. Even as there are MANY blessings we have seen this year, here we are, STILL facing many of the same challenges. And just for “extra credit” we are facing a new variant and few more obstacles to tackle.
I woke up this morning slightly hesitant to feel happy that I got to flip the year on the calendar. It’s quite a mix of emotion. While I am glad to put 2021 behind me, and personally I can count many monumental things that would cause me to be thankful for a challenging but important year, I am also unsure that “happy” is the emotion I would choose about the arrival of 2022. Instead, I would call what I’m feeling a moderate case of anxiety in facing another year with so much still unknown.
What does the future hold? What else is going to happen that will keep our brains into fight, flight or freeze? What ELSE do I need to be ready for? How long must we endure a state of living on the edge of our seats? And frankly I’m getting a little irritated that I did NOT sign up for this thrill ride or buy tickets to this show! Who’s in charge here??? Surely I am not alone in these questions.
To combat this mix of emotion, which had already been building over the last few days, I decided to start my day with a good breakfast and spent some time reflecting with an attitude of gratitude. I spent some time reading a devo, talking to God in my prayer journal, and wrote down some hopes for 2022 as well as some things I am grateful for. I am not setting resolutions this year for the 3rd year in a row, but it was more of an effort to put myself in a better mindset to just face TODAY. And tomorrow I will do the same practice to face the day I’m given. And the day after that, and the day after that. That’s my plan anyway.
After some time in reflection I decided to declutter. I put on some music that makes me happy and spent about an hour going through the living room, dining room, kitchen and my bedroom just picking up random things that needed to be put away, thrown away, or teacher gifts that needed to find a home. I filled a trash bag, cleaned off several surfaces, and found a few things I had forgotten about. It felt very productive and helped me feel like I was back in control of at least my surroundings.
And finally after a few hours of reflection and productivity, I decided to hop on Facebook for a few minutes to catch up with “my people” before I ate lunch. I was promptly faced with some memories that popped up and sent me sliding back into a place of anxiety. On this same day for many years I have posted encouragement and inspiration expressing hope for a fresh start and a “great” year ahead, and yet seeing the dates of those posts sent me into a swirl of emotion reminding me that I had no idea what was coming, and the challenges I would face.
In 2016 I was actually pretending I was “happy” about the new year when in reality I was in a very dark place. Looking back that was a year I faced many challenging highs and lows, and actually expressed the following January that it had been my hardest year so far in my adult life. In 2017 I found myself on the upward swing from the year before only to finish the year with turbulent job changes for both Tom and I, and our home in disarray with an unwanted post-flooding remodel. In 2018 I again found myself on an upward swing of finding closure after the flood, and settling into a new “routine” with both sons graduating high school and college respectively but with our oldest son at home waiting to enter the Navy. Into 2019 where we would welcome our “bonus” kid for a year and a half, to again face one of the hardest years yet in 2020. One after one, these memories reminded me that I am never prepared for what lies ahead.
And YET, there was still a reminder of hope. One memory in particular from 8 years ago did actually bring me back around full circle to setting my mind in the right place to face the unknown of 2022 yet again. I had shared a post from a local pastor, who had shared a story about a friend calling his son on the phone from across the globe. This father had explained to his son about the date line and that he was calling from tomorrow. The son told his mother after he got off the phone that dad had called from tomorrow and everything was going to be Ok.
I really needed that reminder and I bet you need it too.
I think the thing that is most helpful in this reminder for me personally is the assurance I have that with God, everything will be OK. Obviously we know that the people on the other side of the date line can’t warn us about what is ahead, so where does our hope come from about tomorrow? With God, we are not promised tomorrow, and we are definitely not promised an easy life, but dammit if we don’t always HOPE for good days, and sunshine, and no traffic, and polite people, and a raise and a cupcake on our desk for doing good work đ It’s really too bad we can’t have it both ways.
But with God, I trust Him. I trust that He is a good God, that loves me and gives me free will to make choices, and everyone else does too. So we can’t control the world around us and we can’t control what might happen tomorrow or the next day, but we CAN control our mindset to face what comes and focusing on God’s goodness assures me that it’s going to be OK.
Sucky things are going to happen in 2022, I am sure of it. That’s the bad news. The good news is, good things will happen too. And when I take the time to “call” God each morning, and talk to Him where I know and TRUST that He is already on the other side of the date line, He will remind me that even though I may not know what lies ahead, I am going to be OK because of His promises to be WITH me, to go before me, and to never leave me.
I will most assuredly face hard things tomorrow or the day after that, but I will face them one day at a time, and I will not face them alone.
“The Lord himself goes before you and will be with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged.â – Deuteronomy 31:8
LET’S GET PRACTICAL! HERE ARE 5 TIPS I’VE STOLEN FROM OTHERS THAT HAVE HELPED ME FACE ANXIETY AND DEPRESSION:
- Drink more water and less of everything else. This doesn’t need explanation. Your body will thank you. You need to drink HALF your body weight in ounces and a MINIMUM of 64 oz. of water with ZERO added sweeteners or additives EVERY day for your body and MIND to function at it’s maximum potential.
- Commit to A plan for your nutrition and use a reminder app to eat – it doesn’t matter WHAT nutrition plan you choose (paleo, low carb, weight watchers, Optavia, etc.) as much as it matters how often you eat. I have tried ALL the plans. Seriously. And I’ve found that you have to find what works for YOU so you can maintain a LIFESTYLE of healthy eating. So PICK one and COMMIT to it. If you DECIDE to be successful you are more likely to actually BE successful. But what is consistently helpful for ANY plan is eating smaller meals more often. I use the “Eat Wise” app and love that it reminds me to eat every 2.5-3 hours. I get to set the reminders and it helps me eat for fuel, not based on my feelings, and keep my metabolism and blood sugar at an even level. How does this help anxiety and depression? Well, if it’s not obvious, eating a bunch of junk randomly throughout the day, not thinking about WHAT you’re putting in your mouth, or not eating at all can lead to massive fluctuation in your blood sugar and hormones, not to mention how it can affect your weight and your health. Eating harmful foods can also lead many people to have chemical imbalances which lead to mood swings and can aggravate personality disorders and alter the affects of medications. It can also lead some to self medicate with drugs, alcohol, or over eating. I’m not an expert, but if you are depressed or suffer from frequent anxiety, water and nutrition is the FIRST thing you should be addressing to HELP.
- Get more sleep. GOOD LORD THIS IS SO HARD FOR ME!!!! The experts say 7-8 hours but honestly you need to figure out what your body NEEDS. For me what works is a consistent bed time and wake-up, so I aim for 6+ during the week and catch up on the weekend. People that need more sleep should get more sleep. Sleep is when your body recovers and makes many important brain chemicals like serotonin, a mood stabilizer. I learned many years ago that it helps me a LOT have more better days if I eat more protein and get more sleep so my body can make enough serotonin. Also, consistency helps my body go into a deeper sleep even if it’s only for 6 hours.
- When I am feeling extra anxiety/depression I stop and do at least 1-5 of the following things (depending on the severity or how much time I have) that are proven to help me ride the wave: intentional breathing, meditation, lay on the floor and stretch, go outside and get some sunshine, put on relaxing or upbeat music, ask a friend for a hug, call a trusted friend or counselor to talk it out, watch a funny video and laugh, have a dance party, take a walk, take a hot or cold shower, clean/organize (IF that helps your anxiety, not make it worse), pray, write, sing, enjoy a hobby, AND sit in the dark/quiet for a few minutes. I have found the “10 percent happier” meditation app very helpful this year as a new way I am dealing with stress/anxiety/depression.
- Put your negative thoughts on trial and be KINDER to yourself – I have started having a literal trial in my mind with my thoughts but in a gentle way. I call them out and start asking questions. I follow Dr. Becky at “Good Inside” and the number one practice that has helped me the most this year is in HOW I speak to myself. Along with my therapist Linda, Dr. Becky taught me to befriend my critical mindset just like a best friend. It’s important to recognize that your negative mindset is trying to protect you and you have learned somehow that this is a motivator to “do better” so instead of getting more anxious at the negative mind, be thankful and express gratitude for how it is trying to help AND then practice flipping the messages into empowerment and affirmation. I chose the role of “big sister” because I didn’t have one growing up and it is a “relationship” that has helped me tell myself gentle messages like “your house might be a mess but YOU are NOT a mess” or “it is not your responsibility to fix the sadness/anger/disappointment your student is feeling. You are still a good teacher even if you can’t fix what’s wrong.” Recognizing my negative mindset, asking myself what it is trying to protect me from, and choosing to speak in more affirming words like an encouraging big sister has helped tremendously. Maybe it sounds weird to you but it helps. If you want to choose the role of mom, dad, big brother, whatever. The most important thing is that you get to flip your negative self into a friend instead of an enemy. I hope this practice will help you as much as it has helped me.
Shelley Harrington 
It’s nice to hear your thoughts. I hope you find some peace, perhaps in fewer goals that only pressure you, or that you know you’ll never actually do. I used to plan, plan, plan. Now I do smaller tasks. Last year was a year of recovery over something ridiculous, not COVID. I hardly noticed COVID over what I had to sleep through all of last December. I had to wear a mask for a while, which was more of an accessory than protection. I live in a calm, peaceful city for the most part. We are polite. If you went into a store that didn’t have masks, they didn’t do all the jumping around they do in other places. They simply handed you one and told you to have a nice day.
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