They Know Not What They Do

I might ruffle your feathers a little today. I’ve just spent the last couple days sitting on a porch by myself in the country and I invite you to pull up a chair on the porch with me. I would like to talk about a sensitive topic and I invite you to stick around, even if it makes you a little uncomfortable. Sometimes, we need to talk about hard things. Sometimes we “know not what we do”.

Let’s talk about being righteous AND being liked. I’m a pleaser. I want to be liked. Doesn’t everyone? And this post will perhaps NOT get me a lot of likes. But I’m taking a risk and not writing it for “likes” or for “righteousness”. I’m simply sharing my journey.

I’ve always felt inclined to speak up for things that mattered to me, and I’m not shy on sharing my opinions but I’ve always made it a priority to keep it somewhat in check because ultimately I have always wanted the audience (whether this was 1 person or 500) to LIKE me. The motivation for this has almost always been like “Sally Field getting an Oscar” level of “you like me, you really like me”. I’m having to re-learn (or unlearn, really) how to give up trying for the Oscar. That is no longer the goal…most days. I’m not perfect at it yet. Stay tuned. I’m trying.

This last year my eyes have been opened to see clearly that more needs to be done. There’s a hell of a lot more wrong with the world that we can’t be silent about. My eyes have been opened because I started asking questions and decided to SEE what before I had not wanted to see. And I decided to look deeply at things that were scary and hard to learn about, and things I’m still not sure I fully understand. I have actually been blind to how much I followed the narrative of “the world” around me. I thought this world consisted of following Jesus and it turns out, many of those I associated myself with are following the “idea” of Jesus because they “do good things” and go to church and talk about how they follow Him, especially when it comes to the work of “the church” and certain issues that sound “Christian”. But in reality, I’ve found that I was in a bubble, somewhat sheltered from what was a completely different life experience for a LOT of people and I hadn’t seen it. Not really, and I thought I did. I’ve found that when this bubble popped for me (in reality, it was more like a slow leak over many years that I didn’t understand), that truly following Jesus isn’t just going to church, and lunching with your Bible study group, and “following the rules” and volunteering at VBS and raising “good” kids.

Following Jesus actually leads you to the CROSS, right next to Him.

I’m not saying that to judge someone else’s level of “righteousness” or to give anyone a rating on how good or bad a Christian they are. I promise it’s not to shame or condemn or point fingers. That’s not my aim here and it definitely wouldn’t be helpful to condemn being judgmental with more judgement. Isn’t that what we call hypocritical? The fact is, I’m truly sharing my journey of how I began to really do the work beyond just “justification” to allow God to do the work of “sanctification”. I began to look more deeply at myself and found “rotten fruit” in my own life. When I saw the rotten fruit I started looking at the roots that need to be dug up. And I’m working on growing new ones. I have found I need to check my own actions, so I’m speaking up because God is showing me a new view. He’s showing me that my silence on seeing the things that break His heart is not OK. I can’t now unsee what I have seen.

My shared opinions in recent months have NOT been popular by extended family members and many friends who (it turns out) are not actually “friends” because perhaps we were only friends by default of being “on the same team”, when in reality we actually are not. I thought we were on the same team, but as my views have not been well received, it has damaged many of my relationships. I have been “unfriended”, unfollowed, and dismissed. I have been accused, criticized, and even condemned. I have been attacked, called names, and had things said about me that seem utterly ridiculous and childish. Most of this is in the name of “righteousness” which has been confusing and hurtful but mostly disappointing.

And I know I am not the only one. I found a private Facebook group for those all over America (and actually the world) that have found themselves in a similar situation. They have Christian loved ones and friends attempting to define what you can and can’t be FOR, trying to navigate the great divide that many on the “other side” do not want to attempt to cross. We have found ourselves wrestling with those that want to keep things the way they are, broken and dysfunctional, when we are just fighting for a life that’s better than “broken” for EVERYONE. Many of us feel spiritually and politically homeless because of the labels that people have placed on each other and frankly we’re exhausted. Can any of you relate?

Jesus has answered me in gentle whispers every time I have cried out this year over this. He said, “In this life, you will have trouble, but take heart, I have overcome the world.” (John 10:10).

He also says, “This is my commandment, that you love one another as I have loved you. Greater love has no one than this, that someone lay down his life for his friends. You are my friends if you do what I command you.” (John 15:12-14)

And this, “If the world hates you, know that it has hated me before it hated you. If you were of the world, the world would love you as its own; but because you are not of the world, but I chose you out of the world, therefore the world hates you.” (John 15:18-19)

And the most treasured whisper was this, “Be merciful to me, O God, be merciful to me, for in you my soul takes refuge; in the shadow of your wings, I will take refuge, till the storms of destruction pass by. I cry out to God Most High, to God who fulfills his purpose for me. He will send from heaven and save me; he will put to shame him who tramples on me. God will send out his steadfast love and his faithfulness!” (Psalm 57:1-3)

Except when God whispered this to me He said, “I AM merciful. In ME your soul can take refuge. In ME you can rest in the shadow of My wings. I WILL put to shame any who trample you. I WILL send out my steadfast love and be faithful.”

So I believe Him and I cling to this truth. And my question to God was, “But what if they are fellow Christians? They claim to know you and yet, they are not showing that they love me, their “neighbor” for speaking up in defense of my black neighbor who has been persecuted, or in defense of the woman who feels trapped in an unwanted pregnancy, or for a gentle soul living in condemnation from his own mother and the church over his sexual orientation. God, I KNOW that YOU love them, and I want them to KNOW your love. What do I do if others that claim to know you, don’t actually SHOW that they KNOW you and LOVE their neighbor?”

So, God led me to this text in Luke 23:32-43:

“Two others, who were criminals, were led away to be put to death with him. 33 And when they came to the place that is called The Skull, there they crucified him, and the criminals, one on his right and one on his left.

34 And Jesus said, ‘Father, forgive them, for they know not what they do.’

And they cast lots to divide his garments. 35 And the people stood by, watching, but the rulers scoffed at him, saying, ‘He saved others; let him save himself, if he is the Christ of God, his Chosen One!’ 36 The soldiers also mocked him, coming up and offering him sour wine 37 and saying, “If you are the King of the Jews, save yourself!” 38 There was also an inscription over him, ‘This is the King of the Jews.’

39 One of the criminals who were hanged railed at him, saying, ‘Are you not the Christ? Save yourself and us!’ 40 But the other rebuked him, saying, ‘Do you not fear God, since you are under the same sentence of condemnation? 41 And we indeed justly, for we are receiving the due reward of our deeds; but this man has done nothing wrong.’ 42 And he said, “Jesus, remember me when you come into your kingdom.” 43 And he said to him, “Truly, I say to you, today you will be with me in paradise.”

I’m not an expert, but in wrestling with God over this for a good part of a year, what I’ve come to terms with is it is up to me to find a way to be content with WHO I AM in Christ, and that’s all I can do. He calls me to LEAN on Him and let Him worry about the rest. Jesus said, “forgive them, for they know not what they do” and that means I work on forgiveness on my end for the wrongs that have been done to me and keep my eyes on Him. The rest is out of my control. It does not mean it won’t hurt. It does not mean it won’t be lonely. It does not mean that relationships won’t be hard and there is no promise they will be reconciled. And for God, what MATTERS to Him is MY heart. He cares more about my HEART than whether I am “liked”. He cares more about my journey with HIM than whether I am “righteous”. He asks me to check myself, set appropriate boundaries that help me cling to Him, release these burdens into His care and let Him take care of the rest. He asks me to Love HIM and Love my neighbor. That’s it. He says to me very plainly, “OPEN YOUR HANDS AND RELEASE WHAT YOU ARE CARRYING! They know NOT what they do, but I DO know what I am doing.”

Jesus has already overcome this battle with the enemy in the spiritual realm. He has ALREADY DONE IT. It is FINISHED. He overcame death. The problem for us humans is do we BELIEVE it. We wrestle and fight with each other, even well intended self-proclaimed Christians, because we desperately want to know who has the right answer to the question…

“Am I righteous ENOUGH?”

And so, we question whether someone else is righteous enough in the process. The extent of our judgment gets down into the mud of comparison instead of keeping ourselves in the LIGHT.

If you are willing to read ahead, it turns out that Jesus does actually save Himself, but not before He accomplished His ultimate task of taking YOU and ME with Him. (John 20) He did not do it the easy way like anyone expected and we won’t be able to either. BUT we do get a “free ride” in the end to be with Him in paradise, when we ask Him to “remember me when you come into your Kingdom”.

This is the part that we forget. It seems simple enough but really, we need a reminder every single day because we are at war with an Enemy who’s only mission is to convince us that we are anything but worth saving. Once we know Jesus and we say we want Him to be our Savior, we are in. Our eternal souls are sealed (justification). But not our fully human minds (sanctification). The Enemy will pull every single trick in the book to deceive and manipulate and cause us to doubt and compare with the question “Am I righteous ENOUGH?”

And guess what? YOU ARE. You are ENOUGH.

“For by grace you have been saved through faith. And this is not your own doing; it is the gift of God, not a result of works, so that no one may boast.” Ephesians 2:8-9

Because this is a gift Jesus gives freely without any effort on your part. You cannot do a DAMN thing to make God love you any more or any less. You cannot save yourself. You cannot save anyone else either with your “truth” and finger shaking and mudslinging. Anything else someone might have told you is a flat out lie.

You see, it is really quite simple. But we forget that it IS IN FACT that simple and we make it complicated. Jesus sits on the throne and says, “Father, forgive them, for they know not what they do” and He’s talking about US. He’s not just talking about the ones you have labeled “criminals”, my friends. He’s talking about US! ALL of us. Instead of condemnation and ridicule for our Pharisee-like “righteous finger pointing” when we walk right past the “stripped and beaten victim on the side of the road,” (see the story of the Good Samaritan in Luke 10) He says, “I want THAT ONE.” And he’s talking about YOU, and ME, the ones that have chosen NOT to see what breaks God’s heart, and walk right by, and don’t speak up, and really don’t deserve His gift of grace at all.

In spite of everything that makes sense in our judgmental world, Jesus advocates for us and does not do it the way the world would do it. He looks at you and me and sees only love because He WANTS you, every broken piece, every particle that hates and wants to cuss out the “other side” that you are afraid is trying to take your freedom away, and every cell in your soul that cries out, just wanting to be liked, AND be “righteous”.

But what about this idea that there will be an accounting of our life at the end? Am I saying that people should be allowed to burn down Target just because they are mad about racial injustice? Am I saying that we should just look the other way at all the wrongs of our children or our government? Surely I’m not saying people should be able to get away with breaking into our homes and have to give away all our hard earned money, right? Doesn’t God require us to SHOW that we are following Jesus with our actions? Yes, yes, He does. And HE will be the one to decide if the fruit of our hearts were worthy, and He does command us to follow laws in our earthly world, but our actions do not determine His love for us, and definitely do not make or break our salvation.

Our loving behavior toward one another most certainly is the most important fruit that He wants to grow in us. He sees, He hears, He knows who He will equip for the important tasks in this life of love AND justice, and it is dependent on us submitting to HIS power IN and THROUGH us, not by our own efforts.

Rest easy weary comrade. He likes you. He really, really likes you. It’s an Oscar level type LOVE that He wants to affirm in you (except He’s not really about awards and accolades in the traditional sense…think more ETERNAL!) Even the parts you try to hide in the shadows. Even if you have hurt people because you are one of those hurting people. Even if you now see that you need to right the wrongs in your own doing of trying to be “right”. He doesn’t always like your behavior but He created you ON purpose FOR a purpose and He LOVES you, every molecule. Every. Single. BIT. Let Him LOVE you to your core and therefore let Him help you Love your neighbor, even if you do not like her and you think she knows not what she is doing.

You will be more likeable simply by allowing His light to shine as an outpouring of His love for you, and His light will do the work. Receive it well and release it freely. Go in peace, my friend. I am FOR you, but more importantly HE IS FOR YOU! He is that kind of friend and that’s the BEST kind.